


Pride Goeth Before Sex

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-17
Updated: 2006-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-01 05:39:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex is giving Clark the cold shoulder and Clark wants to fix it.  Oh and have sex too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pride Goeth Before Sex

## Pride Goeth Before Sex

by Feliz

<http://feliz581.livejournal.com>

* * *

Clark knew Lex was angry with him about something. After all, when you have been with someone for six years, you learn how to read them and pick up on the signals. And there had definitely been some signals. For example, every night for the past three weeks, they had peas with dinner. Clark never ate them of course, but they sat there in their little serving bowl mocking him just the same. When Clark mentioned the pea plethora, Lex just smiled innocently. "I don't know, Clark. Why don't you ask the cook?" 

Two years ago, Lex had paid an obscene amount of money to bring Inga over from somewhere in Europe where she had been a cook for one of his business associates. Her first meal for them had been something with octopus sauteed in weird herbs and while Lex had loved it, Clark hadn't been able to choke it down. Since that day, Inga had refused to talk to Clark or make anything he requested. On those rare occasions that Lex asked her to make something for Clark, she spent the entire day mumbling under her breath in Lithuanian. Therefore he knew better than to approach Inga about the odd dinner choices and decided to just let it go. 

Clark had also noticed that Lex hadn't been waking him up before he left for the office to kiss him goodbye. Clark had not asked Lex about that because he was kind of scared about what he would say. 

But by far the biggest clue was the lack of sex. And by lack he meant complete and total non-existence. For twenty-two days. In the entire time they had been together, Lex and Clark had never gone that long without sex. Even when Lex was out of town for business, Clark would fly over for a little "conjugal visit". 

It wasn't that Clark hadn't tried to initiate some lovin', but Lex was always busy or tied or sore from his workout with Heike. Convenient excuses in Clark's opinion. So he had decided it was time to swallow his pride and apologize for whatever it was he needed to apologize for. 

That night Clark came home with a bouquet of white lilies and two copies of the latest issue of Warrior Angel prepared to do whatever it took to get Lex to forgive him.. 

He found Lex in his office as usual, engrossed in his laptop while CNN droned on from the flat screen on the wall. "Hey Lex," Clark greeted with a big grin on his face. "I missed you today." 

The non-commital "hmm" he received in return was less than promising, but Clark soldiered on. "I thought maybe we could have a quiet dinner and then spend some time together tonight." 

"Well, Clark, I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on tonight so perhaps you should make other plans." 

Wow. That had hurt, but Clark was determined. "Can't it wait until tomorrow? I was hoping we could just snuggle in front of the fire and catch up. I feel like we haven't talked in a while." 

"Not tonight, Clark" Lex said with an air of dismissal. 

Well, that was unacceptable. Clark marched over to Lex and insinuated himself between Lex and the computer, crossing his arms over his chest. "All right, I give. What's going on?" 

"Why Clark, whatever makes you think something is going on?" Lex replied, voice laden with sarcasm. 

"Because you are barely acknowledging me lately," Clark exclaimed. "And there's something crazy going on with the peas! And we haven't had sex in twenty-two days, Lex! Twenty-two!" 

"And why do you think that is?" 

"I have no idea! I have racked my brain and I can't figure out what I possibly could have done to you." 

"Think back, Clark. On the morning of September 4th, what did you do?" 

"Lex! I have no idea what I did weeks ago!" 

"Well then, by all means, let me refresh your memory. On the evening of the 3rd, I asked you for the seventeenth time to please replace the cap on the tube of toothpaste after you use it in the morning. Reminding you that when you don't, the paste near the end of the tube reacts to the long-term oxygen exposure and hardens. Since you use the toothpaste after I have left for work, it just sits there all day hardening. On the night of the 4th, I discovered that you had left the tube uncapped yet again, showing complete disregard for my request!" 

Clark just stood there in shock, mouth gaping, unable to speak. 

"I do not understand why you couldn't seem to do this simple thing that I have asked you repeatedly to do. Remember back in April, you made a similar request of me and I was more than willing to comply." 

"I asked you to drop your illegal cloning research!" 

"And I was willing to respect your appeal because I love you, Clark. Don't I deserve the same respect in return?" 

"The two situations are incomparable, Lex!" Clark stared at the resolute expression on Lex's face. "You can't be serious about this," he cried. "All of this was over toothpaste?" 

"No, Clark. It was about this relationship being an equal partnership." 

Clark took a deep breath and asked, "If I agree to always recap the toothpaste, can we just drop the whole thing?" 

"Of course, Clark. I just wanted you to acknowledge your mistake and agree to rectify the situation. I was not trying to torture you." 

Clark doubted the sincerity of that statement, but he knew when to recognize an opportunity when he saw it. "So, can we go to bed now, please?" 

"It's only 7-" 

The rest of Lex's statement was lost as Clark superspeeded them out of their clothes and into bed. 

fin 


End file.
